Don't Let Yourself Down If Someone Lets You Down
I intentionally wrote this article without referring to any online sources or even resorting to artificial intelligence to convey my personal experience with disappointment how I deal with it, and how I move from the valley of frustration to the shore of safety and then to psychological stability.
Yes, I have been disappointed once again because I trusted and gave too much possibility to a situation or a person whom it was more appropriate for me to be compassionate towards myself, to be patient, and to be moderate, not extreme. Here lies the greatest pain in extremism.
In extremism lies the seeds of disappointment because with it comes high expectations towards a certain situation or person. We attach all our happiness and most of our interest to it over time, forgetting how happy we were or how many happy moments crossed our lives while we were independent.
Our vision narrows until we become insensitive to any other expression of happiness, entering a state of emotional poverty, and that state or person becomes the only source of our disappointment, thank you.
Thank you because disappointment is like a slap to wake us up and remember who our real source is, so that we don’t forget that “to Allah we belong and to Him we shall return”, everything is from Him and to Him and from no one else.
If someone lets you down, know that you forgot yourself and gave more than you should have, I mean you loved more than you should have, and here lies your misery.
Between our love for ourselves and our love for others, the balance tilts and does not return to moderation. If we paid attention to ourselves first and filled ourselves with love, our conscience would not have been disturbed to the point of disappointment, but we would have been balanced in giving, and we deserved to receive deservedly because we realize that we deserve it, for love is nothing but our reflection in the eyes of those we love and disappointment is nothing but that.
After this introduction, in which I tried to evaluate myself from the standpoint of leadership, not judgment, and to comfort everyone who goes through this situation, I return to how to confront disappointment and get rid of it as a feeling:
1. Admission: The first thing I do is admit that I have wronged myself and face the situation as it should be, and here it should be noted that there is a fine line between consciously admitting and blaming oneself.
2. Experience emotions consciously: and all that entails shedding tears, solitude with oneself, or resorting to trusted individuals or psychological specialists for help.
3. Comforting: Yes, comforting oneself and making promises to oneself that you will stand by yourself no matter what happens and that you will not abandon yourself.
4. Expressing love: How beautiful it is to look at oneself and say, “I love you, I love you as you are.” I know how many battles you have fought and how many defeats you have experienced, and yet I love you because you have endured well you have been brave in overcoming all that and you have emerged stronger and stronger.
5. Dedicate time to yourself: Many of us complain about lack of time or boredom, but have you asked yourself where your time goes? Try to honestly answer this question, and whatever the answer, try to find some time for yourself to do something positive, a hobby you develop from scratch or something you find impactful after a while, reading a book, learning a skill or a new language, whatever you do will indeed have a good effect on you.
6. Engage in physical activity: I could have added this point to the previous one, but I deliberately mentioned it separately to emphasize that physical activity in such a situation – disappointment – becomes necessary to reduce mental activity and compensate for it with physical activity, also because physical activity is related to the secretion of happiness hormones and self-satisfaction.
7. Write a summary of the experience: Finally, but not least, write a summary of your experience and search its roots, as perhaps your answer is further work on caring for yourself emotionally and seeking balance, or perhaps understanding the roots of the experience and reconciling with it and forgiving oneself and the situations that led to it (the experience).
8. Thank that person: You may be surprised, but this is the truth, for without them, you would not have noticed what you need to do positively towards yourself with love. I know it’s hard sometimes, but ask for help from God and be confident that all good is on its way to you.
In conclusion of this article, I hope that I have helped myself and helped anyone who is lost, and perhaps I have benefited from my experience even if only a little. And don’t forget to remind yourself that you are loved and what you see is only a reflection of what is in yourself.